Santa
My daughter saw Santa the other day and after looking at this picture I felt it needed some captioning.
When do girls stop pooping?
I have a daughter, her name is Lilly and she is 2 years old as of this writing. Like most kids her age, she poops. Some days she poops a lot, and it smells gross. Like stagnant pond water full of rotten eggs and feet. I know someday she is going to stop pooping, because everyone know that girls don’t poop. I just am not sure when this happens.
Is is part of her potty training? Are we supposed to teach her to pee in the toilet and to stop pooping altogether? Or does this happen naturally? Is it part of “becoming a woman”? So when those monthly visits start, the pooping stops?
That last one makes the most sense to me as I have heard that teenage girls can get a little moody, and nothing can make you cranky like not pooping. Not just the gas pains that happen but also the fact that you miss that relaxing time that only pooping with a game of Angry Birds can give you. So they get all that backed up in there, they have all the stress of a normal day but without the relaxing throne time, it’s no wonder they are a crazy species.
I also assume this is why girls don’t eat very much, there is just no room for anything left. They still would have to get what little they eat out though, somehow. My theory is that their bodies turn that waste into tears, which is why girls will just start crying for no reason. You thought you missed an anniversary or forgot to set the DVR for Brothers and Sisters when all along she is just pooping, right there in front of you, little, wet, poopy tears. I guess that would make blowing their noses like little face farts.
This is the type of stuff they don’t teach in school, real life stuff, not that made up “Math” stuff that you never use. I bet when they separated the boys from girls for “Sex Ed”, while we looking at diagrams of urethras, they were learning how not to poop but still manage to use up all the toilet paper.
I have some theories on that too, but that will wait for another day.